featured, GENERAL — July 20, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Heart Attack Recipes

by

 By Ali Tim

Fasting is always Good but for a vast majority during Ramadan, feasting is ……

Samosay

Count every Samosa that you eat after the age of 30 as a Potential Mini Heart Attack. Carry your Blood Pressure Pills in your pocket if you are eating 3 samasos back to back. Yes, the dose of 3 can be that Happening! However if you are fond of getting Drone attacks in your arteries, kindly start your Ramadan with a booster dose of 6 Samosas a day. You are most likely to see the CCU of some nearby hospital within 2 weeks. All results Not Guaranteed for CCU landings. In some cases results may vary. For example, sudden death and straight to the Graveyard. Ab Khao Gai Samosay Ramadan Mein?

Khajla Pheni

Khajla Pheni, scientifically researched by NASA is claimed to be some kind of UFO fuelled by cooking oils. The Khajla UFOs land always in Ramadan and take its eaters captive and away. For good in most cases. Pheni associated with the myth of Khajla is a short form for Phenomena. The Phenomena of death. 30 days of Pheni in one’s system can work wonders. Wonders such as clogged arteries, blocked heart valves are two very good infact excellent example to cite here. Ab Khao gai Khajla Pheni Ramadan Mein?

 Parathay


What is Ramadan without Parathay? With due apologies, it is as holy to eat Parathay as it is to fast with a vast majority here.

Paratha refills, dripping oil like first monsoon drizzle, are dished quickly out of the burning stove/ pan and consumed without blinking. The blinking span is certainly not a hard and fast rule as most would depend on individual’s eating velocity and also the blinking speed. Some consume 3-4 in 1 hour. That’s tad slow. “Two Parathas a day keeps the doctor away”, please add *Forever* in this idiom yourself. Ab Khao Gai Parathay Ramadan Mein?

Qeema

Few ounces of meat everyday is a must. But when at Sehari the fried onion enriched Qeema is served who is going to take out a weighing scale and measure the Qeema doses. There you  never go by the book. Don’t have to. So what if Red Meat is cancerous? There is always Chemotherapy available. And must respect all the cooking formulas *Totaka Apa* and her grey Brother *Anwer Maqsood* are teaching day in and day out. *Totka Apa say’s “Qeemay mein Shimla Mirch bhi mila lain”, Well all what she means by that ke apna Qeema Bana lain.

Don’t forget that Ramadan is all about eating! Eat your heart out. Qeema Qeema ker do apne heart ko !

Ab Khao Gai Qeema Ramadan Mein ? 

  • Haroon

    Seriously funny !

  • Rahim Haris

    Hi.This is so true.All of us do rtend to eat more in the holy month of Ramadan then other days of the year

  • insiya

    Lols to Totka Apa and her grey brother Anwar Maqsod .Like it

  • Badshah

    Hi .Ali Tim .Please don’t delete my comment.By far i know that Geo tv network is doing the biggest cooking shows for Ramadan transmission . Practise what you preach.You should sir .
    from
    worker at another channel

  • Tehan

    lols

  • Ghufran

    Ab Khao Gai Qeema Ramadan mein ? I love the line

  • Salamat

    I agree with the blogger.Ramadan days people eat all oily stuff and suffer from heart attcks. Ramadan is about fasting Not over eating
    Salamat

  • Wahid

    ( ♥ Nice .

  • Shaista Batool

    Nice or ab meri is tareef krne ki khushi mai muje dinner pe lejain gai wow taliyan

  • Rahul

    The main reason to fast is nowhere obvious in the world today.Just not in Pakistan. Observe it anywhere in the world. People and their ill deeds.The religious extremism . Fanatical rulers of Islamic countries and also Christens killing in the name of War on terror .Wish this Ramadan could make it better for the Umma .Ameen and Welcome to Ramadan

  • Lynette Dias Gouveia

    Good one!!