By Sonya Anjum Saba
I will not write about the same old stuff that u love your mother, father, sister, brother etc too so why Valentines Day is only for a lover. Now that ideology simply shows our lack of differentiating between the love we have for our blood relations/ friends and spouse. Religion for sure provides us with guidelines to live our life in a perfect manner… but for certain things Allah has blessed every individual with sense of realization for something as wrong or right.
Now I admit that Valentines Day is an Un-Islamic tradition, but then we must stop celebrating birthdays, wedding anniversaries, honey moons, and all the Hindu traditions present in our society too. But that would be too hard for many of us. So getting back to the topic, we agreed on not celebrating Valentines Day for what so ever reasons, but what about love?? By saying NO to the Valentines, are we saying NO to Love??
Well if you think that Love is considered Haraam in Islam, you are absolutely wrong. Let me share a Hadees for you:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih Al-Jami, 5200)
This beautiful Hadees actually explains the reality of Love and that is marriage. Basically Islam is not against Love, but it is against all the sinful ideas and acts that pop up due to various factors:
- Either both guy or girl are immature, not only in age but mentally as well. And get facsinated by what they learn from movies/ TV
- They priorities are money, physical beauty, popularity etc and they name it Love so that they can get what they actually want from the next person
- Mostyly people flirt in the name of Love, some for fun, some of taking gifts, time and attention or just to look kool to the peers…!!
Mostly innocent people get fooled by others , or in some cases both girl or guy are sure that there is nothing serious and flirt around in the name of love to calm their lust…!! But if all this is wrong or fake love then, what sort of Love is right…!! Long time back I was listening to Late Ashfaq Ahmed Sahab’s program in which he referred to some verses from the Bible that describe Love to its perfection, and a part of it is:
“Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal.” (1COR Chapter 13, Verse 4-8)
Romance is only a fraction of Love. But as it is said for a friend that “A friend in need is a friend in deed” so is for a true partner, that he/she has guts to stand by you in all thick and thin he deserves to be your life partner. Mostly parents think that they will unite any man or woman in matrimony on the basis of their looks, education, income, family status, and all the materialistic parameters on can think of, but that does not guarantee a better or secure future full of love. Islam has numerous examples of love marriage. Even life of Prophet (PBUH) is a guideline. His marriage with Hazrat Khadija (R.A) was not on the basis of any materialistic admiration, but totally on the basis of Virtue. And that is the kind of Love Muslims should look into when making a choice for a life time.
”Hate is an emotion, but Love is a virtue” because when you truly love someone, you turn into a selfless and giving person. Your greed or lust die and is replaced by sacrifice for the one you love. Even if the circumstances society or family turns against. You know where to seek your help from and that is Allah. Your prayer, fasting, and patience is the only key that will help you find a way, where there seems to be no way. Allah can even changes hearts and turn them in your favor.
Parents on the other hand should also have enough friendship with their kids, that when they plan to marry someone of their choice, they can help their child in making a good decision and accept their choice with a sincere heart, other than looking for materialistic or class oriented priorities like (financial status, cast, color, etc)
Love is not like a fairy tale, it is in fact the biggest reality of life, and only the ones who pass through the hard test understand it better.